Wild Horses
by Aria Danceny
Summary: Joey finds out what she's missing with Pacey.


I never wanted to be here. Never wanted to know how beautiful I could feel lying naked in his arms. I never asked for it, never acknowledged that it was even possible. Hell, I'd never seen it in my dreams, like so many girls do. The only person I've ever seen myself with in my dreams was Dawson. Ever since I was a little girl, it was always Dawson. He's currently my boyfriend, actually. So, shouldn't I feel sorry about this? God help me, I wish I did, but I don't. I hate to sound cliche, but how could this be wrong when it feels so right?  
Earlier In The Evening  
  
"Hi, Pace." I smiled, stepping onto his boat, arms folded over my chest. I cocked my head to the side when he appeared, hair sticking up all over the place, and it took all of my willpower not to burst out laughing at how silly he looked. He must have known already, because he rolled his eyes and smoothed his hair down.  
  
"Hey, Potter. What are you doing here?"  
  
What was I doing there? Oh, right. "I just wanted to stop by," I said, shrugging, "Aren't friends allowed that privelege?"  
  
"So, we're friends now, Jo?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice as he stepped forward. He didn't even notice the coiled up rope laying in his way until he'd tripped over it, taking me with him.  
  
Staring up at him from where he'd fallen on me, my eyes shot wide. What was that look he was giving me? Oh god..I recognized that look, it was one I'd looked at Dawson with so many times-and oh my god.  
  
He was kissing me.  
  
I just laid there, allowing his lips to move on mine, not even bothering to stop him. It felt so alien..and yet, it felt as though I'd been waiting for it for so long that it made my heart ache. I'd been determined not to kiss him back, not to realize that I wanted to so badly..but I gave in, being the weak little girl I've always been.  
  
When the moan escaped his lips, I obliged, letting him know that I wanted him to go on. I'd probably claw his eyes out if he stopped. I trembled a bit as his hands came up to cup my breasts, his tongue slipping into my mouth so tenderly and slowly that I wanted to cry.  
  
I don't know when the clothes were shed, but they came off quickly, and soon he was thrusting into me and I was raising my hips to meet each stroke. About halfway through it, I opened my eyes, a bit shocked when my brown met his blue. That look..the love I saw in his eyes, and I knew that I was done for. No denying it, no bringing up Dawson or Andie or anyone else. This was the deal, it always had been. And I never wanted to leave.  
  
With a moan of my name, he collapsed on top of me as I arched upward, closing my eyes as I finally reached my peak. "Pacey," I breathed, thinking it would have destroyed the moment if I shouted his name. After all, that was the typical thing, right? Shout their name, come, then pass out and never speak to them until the next morning. Nuh-uh, that wasn't how this was going to end.  
  
Eventually he rolled off me slightly, and I leaned over, my chest pressed against his, smiling down at him as I twirled a lock of his hair between my fingers.  
  
He arched an eyebrow, smiling. "Hey.." He was silent for awhile, then seemed to get back that usual bravado, "So, was it..was it good for you?"  
  
"I think the word 'transcendent' sums it up," I commented, laughing lightly.  
  
"Oh, come on, just say I'm a sex god," He said, poking my nose. "You know you want to. Come on, say it..say it.."  
  
"Pacey Witter, you are undoubtedly a sex god." I said, rolling my eyes at how psychotic he was acting. He smiled, kissing my forehead, then laid back down and cuddled me against his chest.  
  
"Love you." He mumbled, eyes closing.  
  
"I love you to." I said, and god, how I meant it.   
So, here I am. Cuddled up against him, listening to him breathe. I won't allow myself to fall asleep, just on the offchance I never get this chance again. I'm just so goddamned afraid that-no, it's time to stop being afraid. I know he loves me, I saw it in his eyes. In the one moment that he was the most vulnerable, I saw his love, and that's enough for me. Damn Andie. Damn the world. And most of all, damn Dawson. They'd have to carry me off kicking and screaming to get me away from Pacey, and at this moment, wild horses couldn't drag me away. 


End file.
